I Will Die in a Foreign Land possesses its own breath of life. 

Kalani Pickhart’s words are a poem; a song; a war; a vessel of hope; an exploration of depression; a deep search for self; and the ache for democracy. 

This novel can only be described as epic. 

Like a classically trained ballerina who chooses to dance a modern piece that breaks all of the rules, this novel seems to follow no rules in order to fully express the wholeness of protest. 

As current events hold Ukraine at the center of most news cycles, I have found myself wondering, how did this happen? Why is this happening? What led to this happening? 

There is a tremendous amount of history in this novel that answers those questions. There has been a war brewing since 2014 when the Ukrainian government sided with Russia instead of Europe in a trade agreement. The cries of the people turned into protests which turned into the government attacking and killing its own people. 

The word Ukraine means country. As if there were only one. As if there wasn’t another place to be from. But what if there isn’t? What if it’s all one country - this whole world. I’m a child of the world. Not one country to belong to. Not one mother, or father. (Pg. 19)

Don’t get me wrong, this book is not a textbook. It is not a history lesson on purpose. The history is the backdrop. That backdrop highlights the idea that what makes us human is love. What keeps us alive despite adversity is love. What makes us crazy enough to survive is love.

What do we do when the world ends?
What do we do when the war begins?
What do we do buried in a bunker?
We love. (Pg. 112)

Pickhart weaves the lives of three Ukrainians and one Russian as they battle to survive the protests of 2014. They all have loss, death, and illness entrenched in their life wounds, and yet they all find love amidst the chaos and the destruction; they find hope, and in that hope, their minds are opened.

There is no clean side in war. They all come to terms with their failings as they fall deeper and deeper into the intimate connections that inspire them. 

What Pickhart reminds us is that every face in the crowd of a conflict has its own intimate story, and has its own reasons for believing what they believe. The danger we all face is forgetting that democracy is actually the agreement to peacefully disagree. 

The protesters in Kyiv… they risk their lives for democracy. They risk their lives against the government, against corruption…the older generation tells the younger generation that under Russia, things were better…They want security, safety, same as you - it just looks different to them. Their solution conflicts with yours, and that is what your side is fighting for, whether or not you realize it. You fight for the freedom to disagree.

What do you want? Journalism that caters to your wants, your vision? Do you only want to know that others agree? Then you are not looking for democracy. You are looking for another form of extremism. The other side of a flipped coin. The bigger evil depends on what you survived…To ignore one reality over the other is dangerous because it is not fully the truth…Maybe this revolution will remain against evil, against the abuse of power…and not turn us against one another. (Pg. 65)

I Will Die in a Foreign Land opened my heart and my mind in new ways. I fell deeply in love with every love story. The novel immerses you in headlines, culture, danger, ideas, music and poetry in order to give you a visceral experience of love. 

Love of life. Love of country. Love of each other.